So before I start with this, let me just post a disclaimer. I'm not a great writer. It's been a really long time since I've taken any time to write. I try to keep up with my reading, and right now I'm reading a sort of collection of short stories that reads more like a diary. The author talks about how writing calms her mind down. And I could use some of that these days, so I'm going to try. Right now I feel all anxious and self-conscious about this, but as of now nobody knows I'm doing it, so I will be possibly a little less inhibited. I apologize for rambling, boring, or awkward writing that may come. Who knows, over time maybe it will improve. This is more for myself than for you, I'm trying to get back in touch with that creative part of my brain that is trapped somewhere between fillings, vacuuming and diapers and screaming to get out.
Sometimes at the end of the day I feel like my mind is turning to mush. Whether it's drawing owls for Oliver, doing 5 loads of laundry, or cleaning teeth all day I can feel all these different parts of my brain that need exercise. I can't believe how much of my life I spent studying, and how much of it is completely gone from my mind. I feel like I can barely do math anymore- the last two years of high school I took calculus with Mr. Garvey and I don't think I could ever remember anything past the day I took my AP exam. I don't know what I'm going to do when Oliver needs help with his homework! I can't tell you how much I used to know. I knew how to map the genome of a drosophila. I knew all about the sleep cycles of the naked mole rat (they are gross little things). I could identify hundreds of species of amphibians. I could draw you pictures of all sorts of crazy molecules. Do you think all this education we were required to get through was just to expand your brain? Make sure you have enough brain cells to get through life? It just feels depressing that so much has fallen out of my head.
Funny that for all the math and science I was required to take to get where I am today, what really matters the most in my life is the other stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but what fun would it be without JD Salinger, or the Overture to Candide, or Ken Burns documentaries? So in addition to all my great science teachers over the years who obviously know how much they have influenced me (Ms. Carnes, Mrs. Baner, Mrs. Busa, Kelly Zamudio, ) I want to give a big shout out to those teachers who have really influenced my LIFE (Mrs. Hansen, Mrs. DeForge, Mr. Natoli). It's good to know that some of what I learned has stayed with me!
A stack of dirty dishes is calling my name...
